What is the longest English word?
Smile, because there is a mile in it!

Why can’t you feed a teddy bear?
Because it is already stuffed.

Why was the math book so sad?
Because it was filled with problems!

Which athlete is the messiest eater?
A basketball player, he dribbles all over!

Did you hear about the spider that lives in the computer?
He has his own web site!

What did the digital watch say to his mom?
“Look mom no hands.”

What kind of bow is impossible to tie?
A rainbow!

How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.

Where do cows go for fun?
The moo-vies.